Chubbz!

Ok, I finally summoned the courage to write a post about the infamous, Original Chubby's Restaurant, located in Denver, CO. Keep in mind this is not an easy task and must be handled with a kid-glove approach. I don't need the stress of an irate Danvurian knocking down my front door because I upset the masses.

Original Chubby's Restaurant is something ALL Danvurians alike can agree on. Whether your an Uppity-Chicano trying to show your Caucasian colleague the beauty of a smothered fry, or maybe you're a city worker who takes four lunch breaks in a single day. To the Danvurian, Chubby's is everything they want: Ridiculously hot, green chile, large portions, smothered, and it's perfect for those nights of heavy drinking.

For a Danvurian going to Chubby's is almost like going to church, it happens at least one to two times a week. For some Danvurians, the slightest peep of the word "Chubby's" will have them salivating like a Pavlov dog and going through withdrawals. Dating back to the late 60's, Chubby's has been "Danvur's" fast food of choice and remains a staple of the Danvurian diet. Thousands upon thousands of smothered fries and bean specials are being consumed by Danvurians each year. Slews of people line up, order and take a number in wait of the spicy, mouth-watering goodness that is Chubby's. Though there are a number of different meats and ingredients that make up the Chubby's menu, the cheese and the green chile remain the two most crucial ingredients in the entire Chubby's arsenal.

Chubby's green chile is very hot with a thick gravy consistency. I say green but the chile has more of an orangish hue to it and contains a lot of Chile Piquin and Jalapenos to give it that extra kick. Depending on who's cooking, or what time of day you go to Chubby's, the chile can be just right or it can burn the crap out of your taste buds. If you are looking for a five alarm type chile I suggest you go in at 2:00 am (during the drunken club-goer hours). For some reason 2:00 am, on the weekend happens to be when Chubby's makes the hottest chile. Sometimes the chile is so hot I find myself finishing my Double Big Gulp before I can make it half way through my smothered fries.

The cheese is the main ingredient, and quite frankly I think they put crack in the cheese because it's so addicting. Keep in mind this cheese is no Gorgonzola Dulce or Parmigiano Reggiano, it's a smooth hybrid of Velteeta aged Wisconsin cheddar and good'ol gov'mnt cheese. No matter what cheese snobs may say, the velvety texture of Chubby's cheddar is about as creamy as you can get! I am serious! As a customer I love looking into the order window, leading into the kitchen to watch the cooks sprinkle the shredded Chubby's cheddar on my plate. The sprinkling of the cheese is one of the final touches to a masterpiece, followed by the stapling of the two Chinet plates. That's right an extra Chinet plate on top forms the ingenious container design, created by Chubby's. Once the top Chinet plate is in place, The cheese almost instantly melts into the chile creating a nacho type chile/cheese sauce!

Danvurians can't get enough of Chubby's, it's like heroin. Any self respected Danvurian knows the way to a Danvurians heart is through their stomachs, and when you add Chubb's to the mix the Danvurian also pays for it out their a!#$. Post-Chubby's, bubble guts can be harsh to the digestive track but this is a small risk the Danvurian is willing to take. After feasting on a Chubby's burrito, the Danvurian will always tell themselves; "UGH! never again! I have the post-smothered fry runs!" However days later the same Danvurian will be inside Chubby's with number in hand, waiting impatiently for their smothered crack. For the experienced Danvurian it only takes an approximate 8-24 hour grace period until their next Chubby's order. Over years of consumption, the experience Danvurian has developed a cast iron stomach from eating Chubby's on a regular basis.

You know when you are approaching Chubby's because of the distinct smell that emanates outside the rear entrance of the restaurant. Once you arrive to the parking lot, good luck finding a parking spot. Chubby's has constant traffic throughout the day which makes for overcrowding. Again this is a simple obstacle the Danvurian is willing to take-on in acquiring their next bean special with chicharron.

Chubb's is revered by the vast majority of Danvurians and their out of state friends who hear many a tale of the hot, cheese-oozing smothered goodness. If you live out of state and visit here often, I am sure you've experienced Chubby's through a Danvurian acquaintance or relative. Danvurians love Chubb's so much they feel obligated to spread the gospel to the uniformed.

The following are testimonials from satisfied Chubby's customers:

"HELL YA, CHUBBYS IS DA BOMB! PSSSSH I HIT UP CHUBBZ WHENEVER I'M ALL HUNGRY!"
- Ants (Anthony)

"MMMM IT'S ALL-GRUB! LOL, WAYZOUT!"
-Bern

"I leave the office around 11:00 to beat the lunch rush, which mostly consists of City Workers."
-Jerry O

"For lunch, I give up my parking downtown just to drive a few co-workers and myself to 38th!"
-Chad