Old Skool Danvurism - Spandex

Denver, Colorado, the summer of 1988; Keith Sweat and Bobby Brown topped the R&B charts, Roller City with their “All nighters” was the place to be, and wearing Spandex as a part of your everyday attire was the norm.

In Danvur, Spandex became a phenomenon in the late 80’s and tapered off in the early 90’s. The Grunge era was responsible for the fazing out of the synthetic fiber bike shorts and their exceptional elasticity. Every young Danvurian participated in the Lycra (Spandex) craze which swept through Denver like a Kansas City dust storm.

Poofer-Chics (female Danvurians with a taste for High Hair Dos and Aqua Net) were probably responsible for 80% of the Spandex being purchased in Denver between the years 1987-1989. During this time Lycra (Spandex) stocks were sky rocketing due to a quick surge in Spandex sales. If you lived in Danvur (or surrounding areas like “Thortin” and “Waastminister”) and you loved dance music, then most likely you’re guilty of busting a pair of “Dex”. I can just see it now; “Oh Sheela”, by Ready for the World blaring at a school social. In the middle of the dance floor is a group of Poofer Chics wearing matching cow patterned Spandex, and dancing the Robo Cop/Roger Rabbit. Ah the good ol' days of Aqua Net, R&B tapes, Hicky Neclaces, over sized IOU sweaters and Spandex are still fresh in my mind. But Poofer Chics alone were not the only Danvurians making up a huge percentage of Spandex sales. The guys were guilty and also participants in this memorable moment in Danvurian pop culture. That’s right the dudes were putting on the “Dex” and beaters (Hanes white, ribbed tank top). This made for an interesting and “creative” way for carrying their vent brush and Velcro wallets.

But the Pièce de résistance had to be the matching Spandex couple! In high school, everyone knew the popular Danvur couple with their matching high hair dos and Lycra Bike Shorts. This couple could almost always be spotted walking a breast up and down the school halls, during class time. I often wondered how this elusive couple had managed to not get pinched by school security. I am convinced this couple had a year supply of hall pass slips.

“Damn! She’s All-fine in her wicked ol’ spandex, huh!”
- Danvurian circa 1988