Police: Man Harassed at Local Restaurant for referring to the Northside as the Highlands

DENVER, CO--Police say the incident happened on Friday afternoon at LeChuga's Italian restaurant, located on the 35th block of Tejon.

After overhearing a couples conversation, three men approached a man and woman's table threatening to harm the man if he refers to the North Denver area as the Highlands again.

38-year-old Manny Esquibel of Denver, as well as 42-year-old Frank Mazzotti and 36-year-old Danny Martinez of Commerce City, were charged with aggravated assault resulting in a bloody nose.

Authorities say Kyle Gross and Sarah McGuire of Potter Highlands were having lunch when three men walked up to their table uninvited."Well, Sarah and I were enjoying our meal when out of nowhere three guys approached our table and started cursing and swearing?!" said Kyle, who stated that Esquibel, Mazzotti and Martinez were being rude and threatening him.
"These guys were yelling, this is Norside or something to that effect...I don't even know what Norside means? It wasn't until Sarah explained to me that the guys were actually saying NORTHSIDE, that I feared for my safety!"

Danvur Daylee caught up with first responder, Officer Pat Gutierrez. "Mr. Gross moved into the Highland area during the neighborhood gentrification boom. Having watched the neighborhood flourish and grow steadily with increasing revenue, Mr. Gross is well aware of the animosity people of the old neighborhood have for new home owners like himself." said Officer Gutierrez, adding, "The vast majority of people from the old North Denver neighborhood are frustrated by the revitalization of their old neighborhood. I don't understand this frustration because half the people who are upset have moved out to Thornton and other surrounding areas."

Since the late 90's, North Denver has seen a resurgence in development with neighborhoods flourishing during the economic downturn. "I mean really, these guys are going to get upset because their once decaying hood now has $1 million dollar homes being built?! I just don't get it?" Kyle Gross told the Danvur Daylee, adding, "Heck, my business partner and I have scraped little Victorian shacks into beautiful modern flats!" "See, that's the problem you stooopid, yous guys are taking away the history of the neighborhood! you're lucky I am handcuffed or else I'd go over there and beat your @$$, puto!" Esquibel said. "better watch your back!"

The Irony of this whole debacle is that it took place in one of North Denver's last standing original restaurants, LeChuga's. "Man, I would've just ignored his ass, but saying the Highlands in one of the Northsides last standing treasures got me ALL-pissed!" said Martinez, adding, "Tsss, they tore down Subways, Pagliacci's, Carbone's and now they are selling LeChuga's?! Things are not the same anymore, F@ck the Highlands awwwReady!"

Danvurians make it short and sweet!

The Danvurian is a person of few words. Should you choose to have a conversation with a Danvurian, you will understand what I am talking about. As I stated before, Danvurians are masters of using home-spun jargon. Using slang, the Danvurian will take somewhat complex subjects and boil them down to a few words. For instance a Danvurian watching a 2 hour segment on a current event; not only do they become the expert, but they can explain what they just watched with very few words. Below are some examples of short and to the point responses from fellow Danvurians.

EXAMPLE #1 - Being asked if they enjoyed their meal.

Average Person: "The food here is amazing! the whipped garlic red potatoes with the white butter reduction sauce was scrumptious to say the least! not to mention the ambiance and use of lighting in this establishment."

Danvurian: "They have bomb grub!"

Average Person: "can you elaborate on that please?"

Danvurian: Ok, they have Bomb-Bomb grub!"

EXAMPLE #2 - Responding to bad weather conditions posted by the local news.

Average Person: "Wow, with these sub-zero temps and horrid road conditions, CDOT will most likely need extra trucks to spray magnesium chloride for the morning commuters?"

Danvurian: "it's ALL-cold and slippery huh!"

EXAMPLE #3 - Being asked to do something out of your comfort zone.

Average Person: "I would never entertain the idea of commiting such an act?! I am appalled that you even had the audacity to ask me to do such a thing?"

Danvurian: "tss, fuck-Dat!"

EXAMPLE #4 - Asking what type of beer they want from the bar.

Average Person: "Yes, may I please see your craft beer menu? What IPA's, Aecht Schlenkerla Rauchbier, Pilsner beers do you carry?"

Danvurian: "Budlight! oh and a set-up!"

EXAMPLE #4 - Asking to meet up with you for dinner.

Average Person: "What are you in the mood for; Thai, India, sushi? I know a great sushi place tucked away in the Potter Highlands. It's a speak easy place my friend just opened. There's also a great bistro up the street. their PEI mussels are to die for!"

Danvurian: "Where yous wanna eat at?!"

EXAMPLE #5 - Telling them they are a cruel person.

Average Person: "Goodness, I had no idea you thought of me in that way. I apologize if I took your situation so lightly. I value your friendship and hate to lose such a great friend and confidant. However I feel you should also take responsibility for your own actions."

Danvurian: "What-Evz!"

EXAMPLE #5 - They respond to a negative comment.

Average Person: "Excuse me, but that comment was very rude and inappropriate! How can you say such a thing to me when all I do is value your opinion and think the world of you?!"

Danvurian: "UGH, I'll mamber you!"