The Danvur Daylee - Denver Woman Takes Credit for Restaurant Bought Tamales

THORNTON, CO--The moment she walked into her family's annual Christmas gathering, Law office receptionist Irma Hernandez took credit for making tamales she had bought from a local restaurant.

"She walked in tellin' everyone that she made them tamales?! PSSh, I knew she didn't make them and I was trying to tell my auntie Rose that Irma's lying her ass off!" said a disgusted Alyssa Garcia, Irma's second cousin, adding, "Ugh, she always tries to brag about shit that isn't even true, she's got me ALL pissed!" Alyssa walks away to collect herself and turns to her aunt Rose for comfort, "Aye yi yi, I told my hita not to worry about it and that god will punish Irma for lying about her tamales! my god doesn't like liars!" Aunt Rose told Danvur Daylee in response to Alyssa's tirade. According to Rose, Irma and Alyssa have always been in competition with each other. "Alyssa's just a sad individual who blames everyone but herself for her problems." says a jovial Irma. "F*** that bitch, she acts like her shit doesn't stink!" a visibily upset Alyssa told the Danvur Daylee.

The night started off on the wrong foot with the trivial bickering and auntie Rose getting in the middle of it all. The men of the house however were very happy, "Eee, my hita, Irma makes the best tamles! mmm, mm!" said a jolly uncle Phil as he took another bite into his savory red chile tamale Irma had served him, adding, "Boy, hita you got the magic touch! Alyssa should take lessons! mmm!" Alyssa became livid when she heard her nino Phil express his love for Irma's stored bought tamales."I stayed up all night trying to make masa like my gram'aw (grandma) taught me and this bitch comes in acting like she made her own tamales!" said a frustrated Alysa, adding, "I should just go over to my nino Phil and tell him Irma's a lying bitch cause that's what's UP!"Seeing that Alyssa is visibly upset, auntie Rose comforts Alyssa, "Aye, no, no hita just let it go, sabes que that's just the way Irma is!" explained aunt Rose. "Eh, my wife is just as bad, always getting involved in other peoples business!" said Juan, Roses husband, noting that he constantly has to remind his wife Rose to keep out of family drama. "If you ask me, Rosie just fuels the fire, ya know!" said Juan as he took a bite of his tamale.

Content with the rave reviews she got for her tamales, Irma walks over to the potluck table to check on the food. Irma notices that aunt Anna is serving up the plates of food. "aren't you gonna make you a plate hita?" said Anna, to which Irma replied, "yeah, in a minute auntie. TSS, looks like my tamales are a hit huh auntie? mine are almost gone and Alyssa's still has like three dozen left? oh well guess she'll have a lot of leftovers." said Irma. "Eee, you're too much girl." said aunt Anna, adding, "oh-yeah how did you make your masa hita? Do you use chicken stalk or lard?" caught off guard Irma replies "Eh, I used chicken stalk like gram'aw use to..."Irma replied sheepishly. "chicken que?! your grandma used lard baby." said Anna. "oh yeah, I used lard." said Irma.

A December Danvurian Tradition : Making biscochitos and tamales

Christmas is around the corner and if you are a Danvurian, you know it's time to make truck loads of biscochitos and tamales with family. I am not too far off by saying "truck loads" believe me, Danvuian families usually roll deep!

Every year in December Danvurians get together (usually with mom, aunties and grandma) to make biscochitos and tamales. The good ol' days of all the little cousins running into the kitchen to help grandma and aunties roll out the masa for the tamales, and gramps and the uncles in the other room, watching college football and the Broncos on the tube. The older cousins were usually outside, in the garage smoking a "fatoljay" with the neighbor kids. I remember on one occasion running into the garage to get a basketball. I saw four of my older cousins and two neighbor kids standing in a circular formation facing each other, with a cloud of smoke over their heads. As I barged in uninvited they all turned their heads in a synchronized fashion with their cheeks puffed out from holding in the smoke. They actually thought by doing this that I couldn't smell anything. HA!

Cousin: "Aye (hey), what you doin' in ear (hear) buuud!"

Me: "Just came to get a basketball?!"

Cousin: "WHHhhoooooooo (exhales), better not tell grams were out here! Psssh, cuz I'll beat your ass bud!"

Me: "what are you guys doin'?" (I knew damn well what they were doing, I was just so cynical I had to hear it from them.)

Cousin: "Tssss, don't worry about it. hey when are them tamales gonna be done?! cuz we're All-hungry out here!"

Me: "Don't know, I'll check."

Cousin: "And Hey! better keep your mouth shut puss, and I'm "not-even" lying!"

I ran back into the house to ask grandma when we can eat. she replied with:

Gramz: "Oh poody (pretty) soon hito, where are your cousins?"

I didn't dare tell gramz that they were in the garage, leaning on Gramp's Caddy puffin' on the tweeds! This is just one of many fond memories I have of December family gatherings around the holidays.

Making biscochitos and tamales has been a Danvur tradition as far back as I can remember, and is sure to be passed on to the new generation. Hopefully the new generation will respect tradition/culture and continue this beautiful annual gathering. But todays generation of Danvurians are becoming more diverse, and I see a decline in the old Danvur chicano traditions, which is all good because they're making new traditions. For instance, my Gramz (grandmother) is close to 100 years old and can't quite continue the rigorous tasks of making masa, red chile and biscochitos from scratch. Thanks to my Momz, my mother stays with my Grams and helps keep the tradition by making biscochito & tamale care packages for my ginormous/multi-cultural family. If my mother had not taken the initiative this year, I would have been without the comforts of my Danvur Family tradition: The spicy, wholesome goodness of a warm tamale and the taste of black licorice from the anise seed baked inside the biscochitos.

Who knows, the vast majority of future Danvurians will be more diversified, and will create their own traditions. They'll probably create a fusion tamale that contains; plantains, black beans and Sriracha infused pork butt. And instead of biscochitos, it will be chicken apple empanadas with a rich demi-glaze (I know what a weird combination, but have you seen some of the new restaurants popping up around North Denver.) Davurians are no longer being influenced by a single cultural background. Danvurians are now catching on to the East coast "European influences and way of life" maybe the new tradition will be: riding to Grandma's house in a Vespa to make topas and drinking a good "porto" (port)?

All kidding aside, whatever new traditions you may have, any tradition is great as long as family sticks together.

Happy Holidayz!
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