About Danvurisms

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A habitual or characteristic manner, mode, or way of doing something the way a person growing up in Denver would.
Showing posts with label Highlands. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Highlands. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The Danvur Daylee - Danvurian & LoHian learn to co-exist.

For the past decade, Rudy Apodaca has been slowly growing frustrated with the reconstruction and gentrification of his neighborhood. "I've lived off uh 32nd & Meade for the past 30 years and man, things have really changed!" Rudy is referring to the ever changing community of the Northwest Denver area. Northwest Denver once known too many as the "Northside" has gone through a lot of changes since Rudy first moved into the area. Over the past decade the Northside name has changed back to its original name from the the late 1800s; "The Highlands". "Chhh, to me, it will always be the NorSide bro (danvurians pronounce Northside without the 'th'.)!" Another significant change has been a complete gentrification of homes and small businesses that made up the old Northside. "I dunno, I do like to walk to the corner to get my morning coffee instead of seeing old broken down neighborhood bars filled with people at 9am?! shoot, back in the day, none of these nice shops were around. Just abandoned buildings tagged up wit graffiti and all kinds uh bullshit!" said Rudy to the Danvur Daily, adding "Oh looky it's my new neighbor, Chad, pulling up in his Subaru." "Hey-ya Rudy how goes it?" said Chad "Eh I am doin' good. I have the Danvur Daily interviewing me about the changes the Northside has gone through over the past decade." said Rudy. "Oh yeah, this used to be the hood, isn't that right Rudy? haha!" said Chad to the Danvur Daily, adding "Hi my name is Chad Van Camp, I live in the flat next door to Rudy here." Chad is an independant contractor who fixes and flips homes. Chad specializes in the North Denver area. "Yeah, it's kinda a hobby of mine. I just love all the culture in this neighborhood. We like to keep things local and only buy fair trade to preserve the integrity of our neighborhood." said Chad. "Yeah, Chad here makes his own beer outta his basement. I've tried it but I will stick to my Budlight with a set up." said Rudy. "Yes sir, ol' Rudy here was lucky enough to try a fresh batch of my new micro beer: Horn's tooth Bock Bing Cherry Ale. haha, it's not your typical domestic beer isn't that right Rudy. We are currently looking for distributors who will pick up our beer." said Chad.

As the interview continued, I noticed the look on Rudy's face changed. Rudy seemed to grow irritated by Chad's forced smile and passive demeanor. Suddenly the interview was all about Chad and his accomplishments. "Oh, did I mention we supply the majority of the neighborhood bistro's with our very own, home grown micro greens?" said Chad, adding "We grow them in a green house, atop my converted flat. I think it's great that some of the top restaurants in town keep it local by buying from us." Chad boasted. "Eh, ok, I think we get the point Chad." shouted a frustrated Rudy, adding "Hey, think you can go so's I can finish up this interview?" "Rudy, I assure you the man does not want to hear about how this was the old hood and that people like me ruined it!" said Chad, adding "You know something, people like you don't accept change very well. If anything people like me have resurrected this neighborhood back to a strong community!" said Chad. "People like you?!!" shouted Rudy. "I tell you what I think about people like you! Yous are a bunch of greedy little assholes who come in and take over tight knit communities and destroy it's cultures and history for what? to put in a stoopid organic ice cream shop?!" said Rudy. "What history?" said Chad, adding "If you call a unhealthy, fast food mexican restaurant culture and history than y....."

The Danvur Daily had to cut this interview short. I guess Danvurians and LoHians still have some things to straighten out before they can co-exist in the same neighborhood.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

The Danvur Daylee - Area Man sets up small protest in front of the old Ron & Dan's Keg Building

DENVER, 3800 block of Shoshone--53 year old Rick Mondragon was born & raised in the northwest part of Denver, now known to many as The Highlands. "Shits changed around here. ya know this is where I grew up and ran around with my partners. it was a place I called home, now I can't even afford to live here?!" says Mondragon, adding "I can't even get good food here anymore. thank the lord LeChuga's and Subway's are still around!"

Mondragon now lives in a one bedroom apartment in Thornton, CO. "Chhh, everyone I know had to move to thor-in cause all these out of towers started taking over our neighborhood." said Mondragon referring to the recent gentrification of the Highlands...I mean Northside. "This is the northside brotha, you know!?" said Mondragon, adding "this is why I stand here, on the corner with this sign, at my favorite old watering hole!" The "Watering Hole" Mondragon is referring to is the old Ron & Dan's Keg which used to stand on the corner of 38th ave & Shoshone. The Keg is now a sophisticated eatery. "I hold this sign proud!" The sign to which Mondragon is referring to reads: "F%$& all yous rich brats this is the Keg! Northside forever!" "Yeah, I know this sign say's F%$& and I dont care!" says Mondragon as he takes a sip from a container wrapped up in a brown paper bag. "But my son Anthony added the Northside forever part! haha, bless his heart!" said Mondragon.

As The Danvur Daylee continued to conduct this interview, a customer notices Mondragon's demonstration. "Hey, why don't you and your vulgar sign leave the premises! You people need to get a life!" said the customer who asked we do not use his name because the fear of retribution. "hey F$%* yous guys, this is a free country. I maybe older but I'll still kick your little chicken ass buddy!" says Mondragon to the customer. "oh, figures you would resort to violence you barbarian you!"

After this interview Mr. Mondragon was taken into custody and charged with aggravated assault. The customer was rushed to Lutheran Hospital by his request because he referred to Denver General as "disgusting!"