The Danvur Daylee - Pop or soda? Fight breaks out after argument over fountain drink name

DENVER, CO--Denver PD was called to a local Taco Bell restaurant after a fist fight broke out Wednesday evening. "We received the call just a little after 7pm. The caller described two males in their early to mid 30's, engaging in a verbal confrontation over the proper way to reference a fountain drink." said officer Hicks, adding, "When officer Calhoun and I arrived at the scene the verbal confrontation between the two assailants escalated into a physical altercation." "damn it was nutty bro!" said Eloy Gallegos, who was one of many customers that had witnessed the altercation. "Yay, the dude in front of me ordered a pop and the guy behind the register told him; you mean a soda sir? and the dude in front of me said no a pop and then the foo behind the register said what's a pop? next thing I know them fooz were throwing chingasos! man it was crazy-sick!" said Gallegos. One onlooker managed to record the entire spectacle on his phone. "yay, think I'll upload this shit to YouTube. notch, I'll get like thousands of hits bro!" said the onlooker.

Danvur Daylee was able to get an interview with one of the assailants, Taco bell cashier, mike Henderson. "I really don't know what got into the guy?!" said Henderson, adding, "The guy ordered a soda but called it a pop? I just moved here from California and have no idea what a pop is?" The other assailant, 39 year old Fabian Del Real was able to give the Danvur Daylee a little more insight into the situation. "Tssss, that puss knew what I was talking about! Chhh, who doesn't know what pop means man?!" said Del Real. "I ordered a pop and that foo looked at me All-weird, like I was stoopid er something! so I said; A POP STOOPID don't yous know what a pop is?!" said Del Real, adding "So he told me to stop yallin' so I told him to quit acting stoopid and then we went at it!"

The Denver Police were able to control the situation after a little pepper spray and hand cuffing the assailants. "Our lives were in danger, not just ours but the entire restaurant!" said officer Hicks. "We are just glad we were able to resolve this situation without any further reinforcements." Danvur Daylee also caught up with Officer Calhoun as he was assisting the assailants to the squad car for further questioning. "I am happy with the outcome. Officer Hicks and I were able to resolve this minor situation in less than 20 minutes, just in time for our evening break. hey Hicks what kind of pop would you like with your combo meal?" said Calhoun. "Pop? what's a pop?!" Hicks said in reference to his partners question.

The Danvur Daylee - Area Man sets up small protest in front of the old Ron & Dan's Keg Building

DENVER, 3800 block of Shoshone--53 year old Rick Mondragon was born & raised in the northwest part of Denver, now known to many as The Highlands. "Shits changed around here. ya know this is where I grew up and ran around with my partners. it was a place I called home, now I can't even afford to live here?!" says Mondragon, adding "I can't even get good food here anymore. thank the lord LeChuga's and Subway's are still around!"

Mondragon now lives in a one bedroom apartment in Thornton, CO. "Chhh, everyone I know had to move to thor-in cause all these out of towers started taking over our neighborhood." said Mondragon referring to the recent gentrification of the Highlands...I mean Northside. "This is the northside brotha, you know!?" said Mondragon, adding "this is why I stand here, on the corner with this sign, at my favorite old watering hole!" The "Watering Hole" Mondragon is referring to is the old Ron & Dan's Keg which used to stand on the corner of 38th ave & Shoshone. The Keg is now a sophisticated eatery. "I hold this sign proud!" The sign to which Mondragon is referring to reads: "F%$& all yous rich brats this is the Keg! Northside forever!" "Yeah, I know this sign say's F%$& and I dont care!" says Mondragon as he takes a sip from a container wrapped up in a brown paper bag. "But my son Anthony added the Northside forever part! haha, bless his heart!" said Mondragon.

As The Danvur Daylee continued to conduct this interview, a customer notices Mondragon's demonstration. "Hey, why don't you and your vulgar sign leave the premises! You people need to get a life!" said the customer who asked we do not use his name because the fear of retribution. "hey F$%* yous guys, this is a free country. I maybe older but I'll still kick your little chicken ass buddy!" says Mondragon to the customer. "oh, figures you would resort to violence you barbarian you!"

After this interview Mr. Mondragon was taken into custody and charged with aggravated assault. The customer was rushed to Lutheran Hospital by his request because he referred to Denver General as "disgusting!"

The Danvur Daylee - Distraught Raider Fan Found nude and shaken up near a Denny's Dumpster

DENVER, CO--At approximately 5:15 AM, Denver Police discovered a nude man wondering around the dumpster in a Denny's parking lot located at 1600 block of Nw Federal Blvd. "We received a frantic 911 call at 4:58 AM from a Denny's employee who described a naked distraught male, in his late to early 30's, sitting by the dumpster, in a fetal position." said Denver Police officer Mahoney. Officer Mahoney was the first responding officer to the scene and he was quite taken back by what he saw. "The guy was mumbling about wanting his mom and a blanket because he was cold." said Mahoney, adding "As I approached the distraught male, I noticed what appeared to be orange spray paint covering his lower extremities. The victim also had an orange parking cone protruding out of his posterior."

Danvur Daylee interviewed the 911 caller, Joey De La Cruze. "Tsss, it was crazy-crazy! I went outside to take out the trash and I saw this foo...i mean guy was hiding behind the dumpster. he looked all-scared & stuff. So I asked him what the F#%%& he was doing in the parking lot all-naked, with a parking cone in his ass...oops my bad can we say that!? Pshh, I couldn't even understand him because he was crying! I was like--stop crying like a baby foo!" The distraught man was given a blanket and taken to a near by hospital to check for any further injuries. "A fellow officer and myself made several attempts at getting some information as to what happened to the male victim in question. The only coherent response we got from him was...This is Bronco Country and I want to go home!" said officer Mahoney.

If anyone has any information leading to the apprehension of the suspects responsible for this crime, don't call, don't write because you will be next!