Denver Man torn between the two North Danvur Fast Food Juggernauts

DENVER—According to local reports issued Saturday by 30-year-old Denver City resident Bernadette Manzanarez, her man's all-fuckin' tired of trying to decide the best spot to buy his breakfast burritos. Fuck, the report stated, "He should just pick one place already, and stick with it!" said Bernadette Reports went on saying the previous Friday morning, Bernadette's commmon law husband, Tony Candelaria sat in his car at the Original Chubby's parking lot for roughly twenty minutes smoking what looked to be a Marijuana cigarette,"Tssss, I was all-stressed-out and had a hard time deciding where to get my next burrito. So to relax I sparked a lil pinner my uncle left in my ashtray the night before."

On Thursday night Tony and his uncle, Ron Ortega, enjoyed a night of drinking downtown at the local taverns while, watching a Colorado Rockies game. The next morning evidence of leftover Bubba Chino's adorned the floor of Tony's 2001 Honda Civic. "Since we were downtown we stopped at Bubba Chino's to get me a smothered because Chubby's was outta the way bud!" said Tony's Uncle Ron, adding, "My poor hito (Tony) was too buzzed to drive me to get my Chubby's fix so we just bought a Bubba Chino's! When you're buzzed it all taste the same, ya know?!"

Visibly upset, Tony Candelaria's live-in girlfriend of ten years, Bernadette Manzanarez gave Danvur.com her side of the story. "Obviously they (Tony & Ron) were under the influence of alcohol and not in the right state of mind!" said Bernadette, who happens to prefer the Original Chubby's restaurant, adding, "The take-out containers on the floor of Tony's car were Styrofoam, and not the two stapled Chinet plates Chubby's is known to carry. So I knew right there that Tony was lying about bringing me home a Chubby's after the bar. I should have known better when he served me my smothered fries on one of our plates from home...it even tasted all-different! Chhh, I was all-bummed-out!"

"I didn't think she (Bernadette) could tell the difference bud?!" said an emotional Tony, adding, "It was late! Tsss, at least I picked something up?!" Candelaria continued, "She should have at least thanked me because that fry was expensive! Chhh, Next time that b#$%h will be lucky if I bring that ass a Taco Bell! Wazeout, don't write that please..."

Stating how important it is to them, Danvurians admitted it would be somewhat difficult to completely tear themselves away from the teat(s) that are Chubby's and Bubba Chino's. Ron Ortega Continued, "Chhh, next time me and my hito are buzzed, I'll just tell him to take the side roads and avoid the cops. this way we can get our Chubby's, eat it in the parking lot, sober up, spark a jay and drive home safe."

The Danvur Daylee - Pop or soda? Fight breaks out after argument over fountain drink name

DENVER, CO--Denver PD was called to a local Taco Bell restaurant after a fist fight broke out Wednesday evening. "We received the call just a little after 7pm. The caller described two males in their early to mid 30's, engaging in a verbal confrontation over the proper way to reference a fountain drink." said officer Hicks, adding, "When officer Calhoun and I arrived at the scene the verbal confrontation between the two assailants escalated into a physical altercation." "damn it was nutty bro!" said Eloy Gallegos, who was one of many customers that had witnessed the altercation. "Yay, the dude in front of me ordered a pop and the guy behind the register told him; you mean a soda sir? and the dude in front of me said no a pop and then the foo behind the register said what's a pop? next thing I know them fooz were throwing chingasos! man it was crazy-sick!" said Gallegos. One onlooker managed to record the entire spectacle on his phone. "yay, think I'll upload this shit to YouTube. notch, I'll get like thousands of hits bro!" said the onlooker.

Danvur Daylee was able to get an interview with one of the assailants, Taco bell cashier, mike Henderson. "I really don't know what got into the guy?!" said Henderson, adding, "The guy ordered a soda but called it a pop? I just moved here from California and have no idea what a pop is?" The other assailant, 39 year old Fabian Del Real was able to give the Danvur Daylee a little more insight into the situation. "Tssss, that puss knew what I was talking about! Chhh, who doesn't know what pop means man?!" said Del Real. "I ordered a pop and that foo looked at me All-weird, like I was stoopid er something! so I said; A POP STOOPID don't yous know what a pop is?!" said Del Real, adding "So he told me to stop yallin' so I told him to quit acting stoopid and then we went at it!"

The Denver Police were able to control the situation after a little pepper spray and hand cuffing the assailants. "Our lives were in danger, not just ours but the entire restaurant!" said officer Hicks. "We are just glad we were able to resolve this situation without any further reinforcements." Danvur Daylee also caught up with Officer Calhoun as he was assisting the assailants to the squad car for further questioning. "I am happy with the outcome. Officer Hicks and I were able to resolve this minor situation in less than 20 minutes, just in time for our evening break. hey Hicks what kind of pop would you like with your combo meal?" said Calhoun. "Pop? what's a pop?!" Hicks said in reference to his partners question.