Denver Man torn between the two North Danvur Fast Food Juggernauts

DENVER—According to local reports issued Saturday by 30-year-old Denver City resident Bernadette Manzanarez, her man's all-fuckin' tired of trying to decide the best spot to buy his breakfast burritos. Fuck, the report stated, "He should just pick one place already, and stick with it!" said Bernadette Reports went on saying the previous Friday morning, Bernadette's commmon law husband, Tony Candelaria sat in his car at the Original Chubby's parking lot for roughly twenty minutes smoking what looked to be a Marijuana cigarette,"Tssss, I was all-stressed-out and had a hard time deciding where to get my next burrito. So to relax I sparked a lil pinner my uncle left in my ashtray the night before."

On Thursday night Tony and his uncle, Ron Ortega, enjoyed a night of drinking downtown at the local taverns while, watching a Colorado Rockies game. The next morning evidence of leftover Bubba Chino's adorned the floor of Tony's 2001 Honda Civic. "Since we were downtown we stopped at Bubba Chino's to get me a smothered because Chubby's was outta the way bud!" said Tony's Uncle Ron, adding, "My poor hito (Tony) was too buzzed to drive me to get my Chubby's fix so we just bought a Bubba Chino's! When you're buzzed it all taste the same, ya know?!"

Visibly upset, Tony Candelaria's live-in girlfriend of ten years, Bernadette Manzanarez gave Danvur.com her side of the story. "Obviously they (Tony & Ron) were under the influence of alcohol and not in the right state of mind!" said Bernadette, who happens to prefer the Original Chubby's restaurant, adding, "The take-out containers on the floor of Tony's car were Styrofoam, and not the two stapled Chinet plates Chubby's is known to carry. So I knew right there that Tony was lying about bringing me home a Chubby's after the bar. I should have known better when he served me my smothered fries on one of our plates from home...it even tasted all-different! Chhh, I was all-bummed-out!"

"I didn't think she (Bernadette) could tell the difference bud?!" said an emotional Tony, adding, "It was late! Tsss, at least I picked something up?!" Candelaria continued, "She should have at least thanked me because that fry was expensive! Chhh, Next time that b#$%h will be lucky if I bring that ass a Taco Bell! Wazeout, don't write that please..."

Stating how important it is to them, Danvurians admitted it would be somewhat difficult to completely tear themselves away from the teat(s) that are Chubby's and Bubba Chino's. Ron Ortega Continued, "Chhh, next time me and my hito are buzzed, I'll just tell him to take the side roads and avoid the cops. this way we can get our Chubby's, eat it in the parking lot, sober up, spark a jay and drive home safe."

Danvur Werd of the day - Wayzout

wayzout or wiseout
(depends on what side of the tracks you hail from in Denver)

pronounciation: wāz-aut, wīz-aut

Example: "phew! damn bud your ass kicks! wayzout/wiseout bro!"

Have you every teased or played a practical joke on someone? I'm sure we are all guilty as charged, and have had to apologize for our actions. For years in Denver WAYZOUT has been a way to tell someone you're just kidding around with them. The phrase "Wayzout" has been the foundation to our home spun-jargon in the town of Denver, or like our fellow Danvurians would say; DANVUR BuuuD! I've talked with countless Danvurians about the origins of the word "Wayzout", and from my understanding the word "Wayzout" started sometime in the late 60's/early 70's. Just like the vast majority of Danvurians Wayzout was created somewhere in the valley's of southern Colorado and migrated up to Denver.

Here are a few examples of using Wayzout in casual "Danvur" conversation: For instance back in the late 80's a fellow classmate of mine had made a comment about a heavy set girl who wore a spandex outfit to school. He blurted: "Damn girl, those spandex make you look fat! HAAAhaa! Wayzout!" In shock the girl turned to him and shook her head with much Danvur attitude followed by the notorious deflation: "PSSSSSssssh". before she could take actions into her own hands the classmate followed up his insult with a double shot of WAYZOUT: "EEEE, Wayzout girl! your ass makes you look fat!" needless to say she still didn't take the joke very well and proceeded to hand over her earrings, Aqua Net, purse, vent brush and Mary Janes to her girlfriend who was standing next to her. The girl shouted "Fuuuuuhk that!" and charged the poor fool who every so confidently blurted out the insult. Believe me, you didn't want a Poofer chic pissed off at you. The name "Poofer Chic" is another phrase that is part of the Danvur jargon, I will save that one for a later post.

In recent years, Danvurians ranging from ages 25-50 have seen a huge decline in the using of the word "Wayzout". This decline has not stopped a vast majority of Danvurians growing up in the 80's from saying Wayzout in their conversations. Many of Danvurians make the Freudian slip and will say Wayzout instead of just kidding in the work place (You know us Danvurians, we just LOVE "keedin'" around with people.) If you work in a company with colleagues who live all over the U.S. you get some strange reactions to Wayzout. Try slipping in Wayzout instead of just kidding when your around the old water cooler, and watch the looks on their faces, priceless.

When a Danvurian travels outside of the Denver Metro area, Wayzout will have a tendency to slip out during conversation. The Danvurian is then stuck with the task of explaining the meaning of the word and where it came from. Back in the mid 90's I moved to Southern California. I had a wide range of friends: From Mexican Americans to Chicanos and Hippie Surfer types. One day I was hanging out with this group of straight up chola-chics. We hung out and drank beer in the hills of Mount San Jacinto. I recall telling them about life in Denver and how some things are similar. They told me they pictured Denver as straight up "country living" with buffalos roaming free?! I replied with "Yes.....Wayzout! No, we have city living and one of the best Arts complexes in the country?!" All 4 chicas looked at me and said "WhhhAT?!" to which I replied "Wayzout, don't you guys know what that means?" I was so comfortable in conversation that I just assumed they knew the word Wayzout, because they were Mexican American and reminded me of fellow Danvurians. When I explained the word they laughed and it caught on and they would say hey "Wayzout" everytime they saw me. I wasn't sure if they were laughing with me or at me. Us Danvurians get paranoid that way.

Wayzout is a way of life for the Danvurian, without it we will not have luscious words like: Neds, psych, Huh and many other words that make up Danvur jargon. To me, and I think I can speak for other Danvurians, Wayzout is the one word we as Danvurians can all identify with.

Danvur Werd of the day - Fatoljay

Fatoljay
pronounciation: \'fat-ōl-jā\
example:
"damn, he rolled a fatoljay!"

Every now and again, growing up in Denver someone would show up to school with a joint. This person was usually the "cool" kid (or in Danvur terms, wicked'ol-badass!) who didn't take shit from anyone, including the teachers and principal. This kid would gather up his little cronies, ditch class, walk to an alley way or behind a store and light up a FATOLJAY! Passing this lavishly wrapped canibus cigarette, and making certain he does not interrupt rotation-the leader would pride himself on the plumpness of his joint. "Damn, looky how sick I rolled this shit buuuud!" To which one of his cronies would reply in delight, "yeah, you really rolled a FATOLJAY bud...ere!" because of the smoke he was holding in the "H" in "here" is nonexistent.